The
restaurant down the street has a special today
Oh,
what the hell you don’t even have to pay
The
restaurant down the street is in my house
Down
the hall and to the left on my living room couch
Take a
left at the zipper and a right at my Hanes
That’s
where you’ll find the soup of the day
It’s
Man Chowder
It
don’t come from no can
It’s
Man Chowder
And
it’s made by hand
It’s
Man Chowder
And
you’ll like it a lot
It’s
Man Chowder
It even
beats smoking pot
The
restaurant down the street is a hip place to go
It’s
where the cool cats meet they don’t get no cup of Joe
That’s
right no coffee, no tea, not even cream
But
you’ll get a creamy substance; at least that’s what it seems
You
won’t find it at no fast food chain
But it
really is a steal
It’s
less than a dollar ninety nine
It’s
the happiest of meals
You can
have your Man Chowder many ways
You can
have Man Chowder pie
If you
don’t like the Man Chowder
Try the
Cream of Sumyoungi
And
once you’re finally finished
You
will smile not frown
Because
it doesn’t wiggle half the way
But all
the way down
There’s
only one rule
It’s
not written in pen
It
really is quite simple though
What is
it?
No Men
Sometimes
I dream
You’re
swimming in shit
Sucking
off the government tit
Your
preppy friends
Can’t
help you
Even if
you scream or yell
You
kinda hate it
And I
hope you burn in hell
And I
hope you sizzle well
Right
in the center of hell
That’s
right, bitch
Right
in the center of hell
Remember
the time in the sixth grade when
I dyed
my hair with pink lemonade and
You
gave me shit but I just shrugged and said ‘Oh well’
But
deep inside I thought
I hope
you burn in hell
And I
hope you sizzle well
Right
in the center of hell
That’s
right, bitch
Right
in the center of hell
I
pierced my face with safety pins
You
always said I’d never make it to the men’s
I
shrugged it off
And I
settled down
Deep
down inside I thought
I hope
you burn in hell
And I
hope you sizzle well
Right
in the center of hell
That’s
right, bitch
Right
in the center of hell
I took
your girlfriend away from you
All you
wanted was a cheap screw
I
shrugged it off, and I said ‘Oh well’
But
deep inside I thought
I hope
you burn in hell
And I
hope you sizzle well
Right
in the center of hell
That’s
right, bitch
Right
in the center of hell
Woman
How
come you treat me so bad
I said
‘Woman’
How
come you treat me so bad
Well I
go outside and you’re never there
And I
just wanted to see you
And I
get sick of playing guitar
So I
stick my dick in a big bowl of jelly
Woman
How
come you treat me so bad
I said
‘Bitch’
How
come you treat me so bad
Well I
stay inside and you never listen
You
never even hold it when I’m pissin
And I
get sick of playing guitar
So I
stick my dick in a big bowl of jelly
Shhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt
James
Monroe, Jimmy Carter
James
Monroe, Jimmy Carter
James
Monroe, Jimmy Carter
Dead
Presidents
Have an Almond-Ë
I love
your big bright head
I
love your big bright head
I
love your big bright head
I
love your big bright head
(Look,
we know they’re not that in depth, but damn, you’re here on your own
volition, ass hole.)
How
do you like me now, motherfucker
How
do you like me now
The
kids are in the sand pile
The
parents keep the cherry
Nothing
really matters in this land of hopeless thought
They
wanted strings and ceiling wax
But
that’s not what they got
They’re
falling through the shit
The
shit is on the floor they wanted part of it
But
we never tasted more
We’re
drinking ourselves down
Down
an upward scale
We’re
drinking ourselves down
Down
an upward scale
We’re
drinking ourselves down
Down
an upward scale
We’re
drinking ourselves down
How
do you like me now?
How
do you like me now, motherfucker
How
do you like me now?
The
cherry leaves just drop
And
they never have consent
These
sunken jelly lamps
That
are drifting through our dreams
I’ve
played with Eric Clapton
But
I’ve never played with cream
I
hate all you people
And
I don’t know why
And
I don’t like it when the gumdrops
Fall
from the sky
I
wanna lay down in the shade
But
it’s just to cold outside
So
settle down
And
smoke a joint
And
Things will be Alright
Some
were gray
Some
were white
Some
were black
As
black as night
Some
had tails
And
some had manes
But
no two phirbeez were the same
Tigger
Electronics released some little toys
The
Toys were called Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez made noise
Little
children liked to play with them
They
liked to braid the hair
Big
children liked to play with them
They
taught them how to swear
Beware
of the Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez will kill you
Beware
of the Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez will kill you
Beware
of the Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez will kill you
Beware
of the Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez will kill you
If
you put two Phirbeez together
They
teach each other games
They
can be trained to fight each other
Or
call each other names
Some
hackers on the Internet
Violated
their fun
They
hacked into the Phirbee mainframe
And
taught the Phirbeez
To
shoot a gun
Kids
went to the store
To
buy their damn toys
They
figured
Hey
these here Phirbeez
Will
give us some joys
Well,
the Phirbeez
The
Phirbeez shot the children and yeah
It
was kinda like that movie ‘Child’s Play’
From
hell
Gumdrops
Falling
from the ceiling
You
open your mouth to catch one
But
it falls right through you
You
look down to see where it went
But
you’re standing on a cloud
Ants
are underneath you
You
smash the ants
You
smash the fucking ants
With
a magnifying glass
Because
you want them to burn
Heroin
Shoot
it Sniff it Snort it
Heroin
Running
out if veins
Heroin
Get
it anyway you can
Heroin
It
takes away your pain
Mermaids
in the middle of the ocean
Trying
to get a piece of what they can’t get
You
don’t wanna know what they’re doing
Why
they’re doing it down there
And
you don’t wanna know quite yet
Bats,
Bats everywhere
Bats,
flying at your head
Bats,
Bats everywhere
Bats,
flying at your head
People
crying
Children
screaming
Everywhere
the natives seeing
Bats
My
name is Dr. Funk
And
I’m the cream of the crop
My
mojo’s always working
And
I’m on top
You
can be in my choir
You
can be in my band
Because
I can do it all
With
just one hand
The
chickies always take another look
When
they look at me
In
the field of groove
Is
where I got my Ph D
I’m
the damn coolest guy
That
you’ll probably ever see
It’s
me who all the girlies wanna love
And
all the guys would love to be
Now
you can call me Dr. Funk
Or
you can call me funky Doctor
Receiving
all the lovin
Well
for me it is no shocker
I’ve
got so much style
I’ve
got so much class
That
when the girls walk by
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